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Alphas Lisi Harrison

Alphas

Lisi Harrison

Published May 22nd 2014
ISBN : 9780316151979
Unknown Binding
124 pages
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 About the Book 

BEWARE OF SWEARS!!!I am now officially dumber for having read this epic fail of a book. Seriously, what the fuck is the draw? Yeah, this doesnt render WTF? It needs the full on WHAT THE FUCK??? The vapid, pea-brained little girls are as shallow as dried puddles with nothing more going for them than good feet and great ideas. Yeah sweethearts, feet can break and ideas are dimes a dozen. What happens then? Im not a fan of targeting talent like that to being with. Everyone needs a contingency plan because, like Murphy said, anything can happen and environments like this dont offer that. Weight gain is forbidden at Alpha Academy. Seriously? Well youre in deep shit if youre a dancer and gain more muscle . . .Its just so . . . implausible. For a book thats somewhat supposed to be grounded in reality, I just couldnt suspend my disbelief for most of it. Yes, I understand that there are child prodigies everywhere but these girls are so unfocused it was hard to believe that theyve made the achievements they have being as flaky and flighty and boy-crazy as they are.The only girl with a nominally compelling story was Charlie. She actually seemed to be a raw talent, shes down to earth and pretty normal. Not to mention she doesnt talk like a massive airhead tool. Bonus points in my book. The situation shes in sucks ass. It really does. And the woman controlling the entire situation, plus the Academy, is a complete cunt. Theres just no other word for it. And chicks are supposed to want to be her? Why? Because shes successful? Superficially, sure, but her lifes as empty as many of these girls heads because of it. Apparently thats supposed to be a worthwhile venture. How encouraging . . . O_oAnd what the FUCK is with the hyphenated verbs? Giggle-sniffed? Lip-kiss (this one REALLY pissed me off because that dumb-twat Skye kept saying it, what other kind of kissing are you trying to differentiate from, sweetie? and it was used REPEATEDLY)? Theres one involving a pillow, pillow-sniffed or something like that. I think my brains officially blocked them out because I cant seem to find all of them but reading it, its like theyre on every fucking page. Its so goddamn annoying I wanted to cry.The language is just trying so hard to be hip and up-to-date and fashionable its revolting. You know, when I was a teen, we got by just fine on reading books that didnt sound like a sub-par Clueless spin-off. Is sounding as dumb as these girls do in this book actually fashionable? Is this ear-bleeding slang-type-speak the next Valley Girl? Honestly, I can tolerate Valley Girl better than I can handle this crap.And the worst part about it (OK, who am I kidding, theyre all worst parts) was the ending. You know how Pirates of the Caribbean 2 ended? You know they filmed movies two and three together and the end of two looked like someone took a set of scissors to the reel and blindly cut? Thats what the end of this book was. A shameless shill to buy the next one because where it ends has you wondering whats going to happen next. And its not like a Harry Potter ending where the story within the book is rounded out and leaves only a few pieces hanging so that youre satisfied enough until the next book comes out? Not this one. Its like Harrison wrote one giant manuscript and randomly pointed to a spot in the book as an ending point for this first one, chopping it up like that. Ugh.Really, what a waste. I just dont get the appeal. I really dont.